Free Indeed

15 Aug

A couple of weeks ago Matthew and I got into a pretty big argument.  One of those arguments that ends without getting resolved and leaves you wondering whether or not you’re going to make it.  We were both giving our honest opinions and frustrations – very angrily, I might add.  It was awful, ugly.  However, after a couple of days on a sort of break, we were able to really work things through and be really transparent with one another.  We reached a whole new level of intimacy (in the non-physical aspect, of course) as a result.  We were honest about our feelings and were understanding of each other.  It was worth the ugly mess, as much as we both hated it.  (And now we love each other more than ever.)

Ever since then I’ve had this new sense of respect for myself, this need to not let other people walk all over me.  I think that our argument sort of set me free from the idea that I need to hold back any negative feelings or frustrations from others.  As cliche as this sounds, I feel like our argument really changed me as a person (and in a good way).

I think as Christians, we sometimes have this false idea that we have to always be the underdog because we’re supposed to put others before ourselves.  And I know, for me personally, I just don’t like confrontation and will do what I can to avoid it.  For the most part, I’d rather let things go than bother putting up with a fight.

But I’m so done with that now.  I believe we can still put others before ourselves without being trampled on.  I think it’s about standing up for what’s right, whether it’s about ethics in the workplace or being honest with someone about your feelings (or both).

Now I think the hard part is doing all of this with tact.  Being honest without being rude.  But I think I’m getting the hang of it.  And I’d be lying if I said I’m not enjoying it.  There’s freedom in truth – it’s biblical.

John 8:32, 36 “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free…So if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed.”


2 Responses to “Free Indeed”

  1. Michael Contreras August 16, 2010 at 7:12 am #

    Great insight that I wish far more Christians would “wake up” to. One reason why this country is in the state it is today, politically and socially, is because Christians tend to have this overly passive attitude about practically everything, this “turn the other cheek” mentality, which quite often simply does not work. For example, how do you fight radical Islam with “turn the other cheek”? I’ve seen too many Christians living with this defeatist attitude, believing that the world is destined to “go to Hell” anyway, so what’s the point of trying?

    It is time for Christians to say what they believe, without fear that someone might be offended or that their church or another Christian won’t agree with them. As Christians, we each have a unique, personal relationship with God. He knows that what one Christian decides to say or do may not necessarily apply to what another Christian believes or understands. For example, your heated arguement with your boyfriend may be viewed by some in the Christian community as a sign of weakness, but for you it was the right thing to do. All that matters is that you know that it was the right thing at the right time and feel peace that God understands.

  2. ashley August 16, 2010 at 10:22 am #

    being married for a bit, i have had some similar self realizations (is that a word?) and for some reason, they keep coming. guess that’s what it is being in community, relationships and human. but you are right- while we still have aches and pains in relationships we still approach it differently than the world… we die to ourselves. i have found that death in self does NOT mean a quiet, submissive, passive aggressive, sulky version of myself. that’s just plain silly. there is such a tension that only one person that i have ever known has perfected. and He struck the chord of meek yet bold, loving yet called people to a new way of life… oh, how far i am from Him, but He is teaching me each day to be more like Him- to be bold in His ways and less of me in many ways…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: